Seeking Sanctuary

I recently started a new job in Dublin having moved up from the country. I viewed quite a few digs before moving into a nice house in Clonskeagh with two other girls. The first week I was there they were really friendly and helpful and introduced me to their friends, but now on week three there seems to be a coldness that I just can’t put my finger on. If I suggest going out they are busy, if I suggest getting a take away, they have already eaten or don’t have any money. I am trying to keep the channels open but it’s becoming increasing difficult. Do you think I am wasting my time, should I move on?

I am sorry you are having a hard time with your housemates, I do hope the new job is worth it!

If you have truly done nothing to aggravate them i.e. dirty dishes in the sink, hours in the bathroom, a really hot boyfriend grunting in your bedroom all night or you monopolising their friends, then maybe being new in town, you are a little too dependent on their friendship and they are finding it claustrophobic. Remember the old saying, ‘two’s company, three’s a crowd’ – this did seem like a cosy twosome before you rocked up.

You need to try a little reverse psychology – give them more space, don’t always be available, look like you have other things going on in your life – what they can’t have, they just might want. Give this a month and if things just haven’t improved, I think it’s time to move on. After all, home is your sanctuary – you don’t want to feel under house arrest holed up in your bedroom. Good luck!

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